I'm sorry to hear about your sour adventure with the vacuum cleaner, but when I read your message, I had to think about how stupid it is to have a gotten a dyson vacuum for the metalab instead of a wet and dry vacuum cleaner (shopvac and the likes). This reminds me of all the people that I've seen try to drive a philips screw with a flat tipped screw driver **sigh**. I haven't looked at whether there is a wet-dry vacuum at the metalab, and it doesn't matter if there is, a dyson just isn't smart to have in a place like the metalab.
If for whatever X or Y reasons, it's not possible to have a vacuum that is more suitable for a hackerspace, how about slapping together a few junk parts to build a
wet spill attachment for the vacuum we already have?
I understand your frustration, but I'm afraid unless we find a magical solution to eradicate the ability for humans to be stupid (or high) sometimes (which includes me too of course), we can only make the environment we share a bit more dumb proof to minimize losses and frustration...
However I do agree that the vacuum has mainly suffered from some real lack of common sense, and we could also think a bit more about how we use the equipment with respect (towards the equipment and those who will use them after us).
Keep up the good work Oberputze Hobbes!